Falling in love for the right reasons
Mrs. Lusi Supratman's sermon on Sunday, Feb 8th, 2009 in Narimasu Grace Square Chapel, Tokyo, Japan.
Start with the right reason.
Do you know Disney love stories? What do they say about love?
1. Cinderella = two different status (The prince and the maid)
2. Snow White = save me from my family's pressure
3. Sleeping Beauty = waiting for her prince to wake her up
4. Little Mermaid = unrealistic love (a mermaid loves a human, fish wants to be a human)
5. Beauty and the Beast = rich but bad tempered
6. Aladdin = a lucky thief who married a princess
Then Mrs. Lusi asked several sisters and brothers to come up to the front and tell what kind of person they want for their future wives or husbands. Sisters, basically, focused on a quality of a guy.
Sis. Miyuki said she wanted a person who loved and feared God.
Sis. Sally said she wanted a guy who was kind
Sis. Ida said she wanted a boyfriend who had the same vision as hers.
Bro. Amin wanted a girl who was mature
Bro. Kornelius said he wanted a person who fitted him.
Bro. Very said he wanted a person who could cook.
Bro. Hepi wanted a girl who could sing
Every one has a different type. Each one of you is unique. God created us differently. He gives us a freewill. It is our choice to love God or to love other things. To love is your decision and your choice. If it is forced, it is not love.
2 Cor.6:14-18 Are light and darkness the same?
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people." "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you." "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
1. Open your eyes and heart widely to see yourself and your partner's strengths, weaknesses, characters, habits, family background, etc. Can you accept them?
2. Know yourself, recognize your own personal values and do not based your values on what other people say about you, what you do for a living, your achievement, because they only see the external factors.
3. Eph.1:4-5 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will... This means that we are precious in God's eyes. God focuses his love for us.
4. Be true to yourself. No body can say that a person fits you. No one can say that man/woman is good for you. Many times our way of thinking is influenced by others, so we need to be honest to ourselves.
5. Characters. A small lie will destroy all. Unfaithfulness, laziness, recklessness, frugality, slick and irresponsibility will destroy all. Have the right characters. We can't live with the person who is irresponsible and untrustworthy. Therefore, we need to open our eyes and do not force ourselves to live with a such person. Good and sound characters will make a long-lasting marriage.
6. Emotion and anger. We have to see our partner's way to handle anger, stress and emotion.
- discuss conflicts immediately and thorougly
- do not tardy, do not linger, do not wait to discuss conflicts
- do not change the subject
- do not bring up past mistakes
- confront for resolution not for winning
- does s/he have unstable emotion?
- does s/he have a negative way of thinking?
7. Consider his/her family background. It is important for you to know your partner's parents. Family background matters. Make sure that your partner is a whole person, person who is restored by God, not a person who is badly "tortured" by his/her past. Sometimes we have the attitude of "hero/heroine" to save him/her. It is similar with covering a time-bomb. We'll be blown away to pieces at unknown time. We'll be the ones who suffer.
8. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. In Indonesian we say, "Jangan merupakan pasangan yg tidak seimbang" the translation is, "Do not be partner with someone who is not equal to you." In other words, someone who does not share the same values." Values mean belief, spiritual, mentality, characters, intellectual, principles, maturity, etc.
In my opinions these principles are true. The older we get, the more requirements we put on our "ideal" partner. Younger people when they fall in love, they just like each other, they do not think such complicated things. However, the older we get, we will have more requirements. These thoughts get back to me.
The insight from the sermon is fine with me but there are some items that I disagree as they are also confirmed with my friends. One of them is regarding the story of Disney Love Stories. My friend, Dian , disagreed with her saying that Sleeping beauty was a lazy girl who just did nothing but waiting for the "her Prince" to save her. Dian said that it was not her will to sleep, the witch's curse made her sleep. Then I realized that she was right.
Start with the right reason.
Do you know Disney love stories? What do they say about love?
1. Cinderella = two different status (The prince and the maid)
2. Snow White = save me from my family's pressure
3. Sleeping Beauty = waiting for her prince to wake her up
4. Little Mermaid = unrealistic love (a mermaid loves a human, fish wants to be a human)
5. Beauty and the Beast = rich but bad tempered
6. Aladdin = a lucky thief who married a princess
Then Mrs. Lusi asked several sisters and brothers to come up to the front and tell what kind of person they want for their future wives or husbands. Sisters, basically, focused on a quality of a guy.
Sis. Miyuki said she wanted a person who loved and feared God.
Sis. Sally said she wanted a guy who was kind
Sis. Ida said she wanted a boyfriend who had the same vision as hers.
Bro. Amin wanted a girl who was mature
Bro. Kornelius said he wanted a person who fitted him.
Bro. Very said he wanted a person who could cook.
Bro. Hepi wanted a girl who could sing
Every one has a different type. Each one of you is unique. God created us differently. He gives us a freewill. It is our choice to love God or to love other things. To love is your decision and your choice. If it is forced, it is not love.
2 Cor.6:14-18 Are light and darkness the same?
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people." "Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you." "I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty."
1. Open your eyes and heart widely to see yourself and your partner's strengths, weaknesses, characters, habits, family background, etc. Can you accept them?
2. Know yourself, recognize your own personal values and do not based your values on what other people say about you, what you do for a living, your achievement, because they only see the external factors.
3. Eph.1:4-5 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will... This means that we are precious in God's eyes. God focuses his love for us.
4. Be true to yourself. No body can say that a person fits you. No one can say that man/woman is good for you. Many times our way of thinking is influenced by others, so we need to be honest to ourselves.
5. Characters. A small lie will destroy all. Unfaithfulness, laziness, recklessness, frugality, slick and irresponsibility will destroy all. Have the right characters. We can't live with the person who is irresponsible and untrustworthy. Therefore, we need to open our eyes and do not force ourselves to live with a such person. Good and sound characters will make a long-lasting marriage.
6. Emotion and anger. We have to see our partner's way to handle anger, stress and emotion.
- discuss conflicts immediately and thorougly
- do not tardy, do not linger, do not wait to discuss conflicts
- do not change the subject
- do not bring up past mistakes
- confront for resolution not for winning
- does s/he have unstable emotion?
- does s/he have a negative way of thinking?
7. Consider his/her family background. It is important for you to know your partner's parents. Family background matters. Make sure that your partner is a whole person, person who is restored by God, not a person who is badly "tortured" by his/her past. Sometimes we have the attitude of "hero/heroine" to save him/her. It is similar with covering a time-bomb. We'll be blown away to pieces at unknown time. We'll be the ones who suffer.
8. Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. In Indonesian we say, "Jangan merupakan pasangan yg tidak seimbang" the translation is, "Do not be partner with someone who is not equal to you." In other words, someone who does not share the same values." Values mean belief, spiritual, mentality, characters, intellectual, principles, maturity, etc.
In my opinions these principles are true. The older we get, the more requirements we put on our "ideal" partner. Younger people when they fall in love, they just like each other, they do not think such complicated things. However, the older we get, we will have more requirements. These thoughts get back to me.
The insight from the sermon is fine with me but there are some items that I disagree as they are also confirmed with my friends. One of them is regarding the story of Disney Love Stories. My friend, Dian , disagreed with her saying that Sleeping beauty was a lazy girl who just did nothing but waiting for the "her Prince" to save her. Dian said that it was not her will to sleep, the witch's curse made her sleep. Then I realized that she was right.
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